Contributing Writer: Josh Caballero Hello fellow One Leaguers, another football season has started and only 3 weeks in. In such a short amount of time we have all been defeated at least once and defeated someone else at least once. I think that’s a new record. Nobody absolutely sucks… yet. However, there are a few teams that are standing out in their accumulated points.  Ertz, Heat and Dobler have accrued over 400 points each and possibly the biggest threats overall barring any major injuries. The funny thing is that Ram I Am (why is it when I say that I want to make a Popeye quote after?) has two wins under his belt and is not even breaking 300 points total?! His team name should be Gandalf’s Grunions because he must be some kind of wizard making his opponents suspiciously lose when they play him. Let’s hope for less of that.  Chingy and the Wook (they should really start a boy band) were the biggest threats in the preseason with their bank accounts but apparently they were too worried about spending those Schrute-Bucks or Lleprechaun dollars and saving them for a rainy day. It’s fortunate for the rest of us, I say.
 Know what is delicious? Truffles! I also love truffle salt, have you tried it? If not, you should. I love shuffling with truffles too, but know what’s the best? The Goonies, probably because they never say “Die”. Lets hope they keep it that way and are able to find One-Eyed-Willey’s treasure trove of pirate ships and giant octopi, and BOOTY! Don’t let the losses bring you down, you just need some tricks up your sleeve like “slick shoes” or “bully blinders” and find your “fifty dowwa beel”.
 Last but not least Bye Bye Bye… do I hear a boy-band in here or is that just in my head? Nice pick up on the Fitzwagon! I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little jealous about it. I was tempted to bid on him too, seemed like it was a longshot at first but he has some legit potential. Hopefully that 3.5% goes up a bit in the coming weeks. Just don’t blame yourself, you WERE playing the guy who had the most points in the entire league this week.
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Contributing Writer: Mike Fountain “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way—in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.” - Charles Dickens
I’ve never read “A Tale of Two Cities” and don’t know if Chuck played fantasy football but from that opening paragraph I’m guessing he must have wrote it soon after his fantasy season started. We enter the season with such hope during and after the draft. We’ve done all the research, tested different draft strategies in mock drafts, have our cache of sleepers. Even if the draft doesn’t go our particular way we still are filled with hope for the season. We say to ourselves, “I have enough for the first few weeks then I’ll snag a break-out player on waivers and try and sucker someone into a bad trade (Dana). I’ll breeze into the playoffs.” Then week one is upon us, the games count and the points are for real. The euphoric joy we once had is soon dashed to pieces when our starting tight end goes out for the season or our franchise quarterback is carted off the field with a knee injury. Our sleepers keep hitting the snooze button on the start of the season and some just never wake up. The fantasy season is really a Tale of Two Cities. The cities of euphoria and despair with a dilapidated township of mediocrity right between them. Right now most of us are having a drink in mediocrity. Cheers to the new season! |
