“We are all either kings or pawns, emperors or fools.”

Contributing Writer: Josh Caballero of Obi-Juan Kenobi

“We are all either kings or pawns, emperors or fools.”-Napoleon Bonaparte

What a way to begin the playoff season, right?! Some of us scratching our way into playoff contention, others struggling to keep their heads above water and away from the infamous Toilet Bowl that flushes fantasy dreams down the proverbial drain pipe. In our fantasy league there is going to be 1 winner, 10 losers and 1 toilet bowl winner/loser that we all get to point the finger at and give grief for the next year. But let’s be honest, we are all a bunch of losers and as such “there is no honor among thieves” (or in our case losers) We all have lost in this league at one time or another and likely multiple times like myself. It’s ok, I can handle it. Just don’t tell Clay, Justin or Russell. They might challenge you to some Ironman competition, marathon or century ride of death to prove you wrong.

What my main point is, winning in this league is great but to me it seems that the most infamous part of our league is the little (larger than the winners) trophy that is held over all of our heads throughout the year and the title that comes with it. In a way, it has become our mascot and as such has terrified us all in a way I wouldn’t have imagined. Even the mediocrity (middle place) trophy that had once been the toilet bowl trophy brings with it a stigma that when Tom received it a couple of years ago, was so distraught that he received it and believed that he was the toilet bowl loser for months. Just keep in mind that we are all just a bad draft, bad waiver wire pick, player injury or worst trade offer away from being the next first place loser in this league. Don’t forget it, embrace it, try to keep it at the top of mind all of us are losers in our own way.

For instance, Clay and Dana. Our first place division leaders, they each had their worst scores ever for the first time in weeks. Worse than anyone else in the league. Don’t blame it on them not setting their lineups either, their benches didn’t show much promise either. I know what everyone is thinking because I thought it too. “Why didn’t their team do that when I played them?” Meanwhile Clay is at some Mexican beachside resort with some foo foo drink in hand still pondering the thought of me calling him a fantasy loser while trying to exact revenge for saying so and Dana is likely on a golf course putting in another round of 18 all the while curbing his desire to offer bad trades with his 50-plus other leagues he’s in. You see, they don’t care because first place feels like a warm blanket. At least for the time being, until Thursday comes around and they have to start fighting again.
Two more weeks of this, I for one am going to set my lineup, I’m sending uplifting social media posts directly to the players on my starting lineup and then I’m going to make another Manhattan because that’s what winners do. And then I’m going to maybe stretch in preparation of the Ironman/marathon/century ride of death.

May the best losingest losers lose.